One long commute
I left work at 3pm today, and I expected the commute to be longer than normal. I don’t know why I expected longer than that today. in the afternoon, my normal commute is an hour and twenty-ish minutes, which is an absurdly long time in my opinion, but I’m getting used to it by now. yet I had some nagging feeling that it was going to get worse, purely because I had begrudgingly accepted driving for over two hours a day for work.
during these long drives, I usually take the opportunity to listen to some new music. I have the time. might as well. today though I wanted something familiar, and long enough to span the entire drive. I picked one by C418. it’s one of my favorite albums, and certainly lengthy enough for a long drive. surely.
I ran into rush-hour traffic sooner than I expected. there was more stop-and-go than I expected. maybe I was right that today would be a longer commute than normal. but whatever. can’t do anything about it now. just have to stay in my half-trance, listening to comforting riffs of piano, kalimba, and synths.
an hour passes. I’m not as far as I hoped I’d be. I’m about halfway home. I’ve been going less than 10 miles-per-hour this entire time. I can barely remember anything of the past hour. my mind is at home. my mind is playing with projects that I haven’t started yet. true daydreaming. I should start that youtube channel. I should make a blog post. I should make a video out of that blog post. yeah these are great ideas! I should do them when I get home. I’ll have the energy. surely.
half an hour passes. I’m finally off of the interstate, taking familiar roads closer and closer to my home hidden in the labyrinth of streets and houses called suburbia. I know the turns though. I’ve made them hundreds of times by now. ah, dang. there’s more bumper-to-bumper traffic. I’m listening to songs that I have only heard a handful of times, since I rarely do anything uninterrupted for an hour and a half. but whatever. I’ll get home before this album is over. surely.
I listen to “Tsuki No Koibumi” featuring Laura Shigihara. I didn’t remember her vocals on this album. that’s cool. this can’t be the last track though, surely.
after this song, the music stops. I’m in my neighborhood.
and I make the last few turns in silence.
I… guess the commute was that long after all.
I don’t know what the point of this post is. I think I just needed to vent a bit. I got home and felt exhausted. didn’t want to start that youtube channel, didn’t want to make a blog post, didn’t want to do anything. my therapist says I need a new job. earlier today I thought that it’s not so bad after all, maybe they don’t have the full story. but after my partner did something nice for me, I started crying, and now I think my therapist might be right.
